The Tangrens

Anyone having read my sister Holly's blog (Michigan Avery's "Sisters, Sisters....") will understand the motivation for this post. Reading Holly's musings about our childhood as sisters made me think of my memories. I've never known life without my sisters. They have been there from my first breath. I've often thought it would be nice to have an older brother, someone to watch out for me and be protective of me. But I can't imagine life without my sisters. And now I have brother-in-laws. They're just as good as brothers but they never beat you up.

"A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost." -Marion C. Garretty

Being a little sister I was always the one begging to be included. I always wanted to be in "the know" and I never wanted to be left behind. I too remember the "sister meetings" we had at the foot of someone's bed but I do remember what was discussed because I soaked every last word in. I relished the opportunity to be a part of the world my sisters lived in and I idolized them. I still do. Any one who is not a little sister does not understand the reverence she has for older sisters. They can do no wrong, even when they drive you crazy and chase you up the stairs with pinching fingers or pin you in your sheets in the morning and tickle you till you cry, they are never knocked off that pedestal. And never can be.


Nikki my oldest sister loved to do my hair when i was little, at the time I preferred that she not but she took it upon herself to mother me and I don't think that feeling she has for me has faded too much. I remember very distinctly one day sitting in the living room doing my math homework. It was fractions and I didn't like them and didn't understand them much. I was frustrated and was at the end of my rope. I knew there were answers in the back of the book and I was just about to go and cheat when Nikki walked by. I started to cry. She stopped and helped me. She made it fun. She explained everything to me and even made up a little rhyme to help me. "My name is Helga I'm from Sweden..." ( said in a lilting voice ) But that was not the first time that she came to my aid I also remember a time when I was suppose to be folding my laundry and I didn't want to do it and was pitching a fit. Nikki came in and told me to make it fun by singing while I did it. "You're looking like clothes to me!" ( Your looking like love to me ) And what do you know folding clothes is one of my favorite chores now. She was always making sure I made the right choices. Like the first and only time I swore. (unknowingly) She'd also babysit us and I can assure you that I was the worst charge she had. Bed time was not a pleasant time and I would throw HUGE tantrums. I remember Nikki smiling and stifling giggles as she pointed a tape recorder at me. But I also remember her teaching me nursery rhymes that we would say in turn. "Goosey, Goosey Gander. Whither do you wander?..." each taking a word. Some of the sweetest memories I have with her. I also remember laying beside her just days before she got married listening to her muse about beginning a new chapter in her life. I remember her coming back to Michigan to surprize me for my graduation. She was the one who called the only college I applied to and posed as me to find out if I'd been accepted. She was the one who told me that the roommates I had at school might end up being the longest lasting friends I'd ever have. She was the one who called my neighbor everyday to ask them to look in our mailbox to know just exactly when my mission call came and was on the phone at 2 am insisting that we open it right then and there. She sent me tons of books when she found out I was pregnant, was the first one to take me maternity clothes shopping and sent me even more baby baby clothes than I could have ever imagined. She has been the epitome of an incredible multitasking mother and if I know anything of what I'm doing as a mother it is because of her influence and example.


As much as Nikki was mothering Holly was...something else! Holly and my relationship was more stormy but at the same time somewhat closer. Holly and I shared a room until I was 10 and a lot of my memories with Holly stem from that room. I was a pretty vain child. When I grew up I was going to be a beautiful nurse or a beautiful ballerina...whatever it was I was going to be beautiful. One day my Mom told us to clean our room. Neither of us wanted to do it but Holly came up with a plan. She said "Sunny, let's play a game! We'll play Cinderella and I'll be the ugly mean step mother and you be BEAUTIFUL Cinderella and I make you clean this whole room!" Well I'd never heard anything so great so I scampered off happily with my beautiful title and cleaned the whole room. I'm not sure how many times we "played" this game but I got wise to it. And we never played it again. I remember another time cleaning the room when I wanted something in a certain spot and Holly wanted it somewhere else and we got in an argument that culminated in me slapping her. She is the one and only person I ever slapped and I felt SOOO bad. I don't remember which bedroom cleaning experience came first or who's mistreatment was justified but in the end it doesn't matter. Holly was my mouth piece. For as long as I can remember and even to this day Holly has spoken for me. When we were at a friends house and they were having something for dinner that I didn't like ( I was really picky) Holly would inform them that I didn't like that. There were so many situations in which my big sister Holly would talk for me and I was relieved to let her do so. She was my advocate and if anything that made me nervous or I didn't like that was just fine with Holly and she stood up for me. We danced our barbies to Carol Johnson songs. We excersized to Strawberry shortcake bicycle upside down record. We played school in the basement. And knew the bedtime songs record by heart ("We saw trees that walked!...") As I grew Holly spoke to my soul. I once asked her if she liked being married when the thought of that felt like slavery. I asked her if she liked being a mom when the prospect was terrifying. Each time she calmed my fears and helped me see the incredible beauty in the most important things I would ever do. She talked me off the ledge when I was having problems nursing Hyrum and she's given me countless ideas for the church callings I've had. And most of all she's ALWAYS made me laugh. (even at myself TA-DAAAA!!!)

Whether it was making up dances to the beach boy songs in a hotel room in northern Michigan or singing at the top of our lungs to disco, rollerskating in the basement, pretending we were the Mandrell sisters or Charlies angels, camping, riding our bikes over the scary bridge, working in the garden or walking the train tracks in Rockford to Russos, my sisters have always been there and I'm blessed to have had them in my life.