The Tangrens

Hyrum will be enrolled in the Chinese Immersion program at his elementary school this coming fall ( or at least we've signed him up-still don't know if he's in yet) and knowing that might be a possibility has sparked a lot of interest in anything Chinese. (He's also very keen to notice how many things are "Made in China" too) The Chinese New Year is coming up soon and so the school had decided to throw a Chinese New Year program to showcase the immersion program and introduce parents and students alike to the holiday traditions.  Hyrum was SOO excited to go. He'd gotten wind of a dragon dance and wanted to be a part of every last little thing.  So tonight as we ate dinner he was talking to me about it and said something about a sign being red and I said "Well, of course, because red is a Chinese New Year color" So Hyrum being a clear product of his mother ran to his room to put on as much red as he could find in his closet.  I told him that I wasn't sure if he would be doing the dragon dance or the lion dance or what he would be doing if anything at all but he was undeterred and simply lamented that he didn't have red shoes as we headed to the car.

In case anyone wonders. Elijah and I are dragons, Derek is a snake, Hyrum is a boar and Noah is a tiger.

When we got to the school I put Elijah in a belly pack so I could have my hands free to video record and take pictures of the proceedings as Derek would be getting back from a business trip that night mere hours after the party ( he was super bummed to be missing it).  We walked into the gym and I turned to hurry Noah. When I turned back around I had lost Hyrum.  I scanned the crowd and found him seated front and center with a group of kids.


I cringed a little inside not knowing if he was suppose to be up there or how I was going to tell him that maybe he should just come stand by me.  His enthusiasm was unquenchable. I decided not to make a scene and just let him have his chance to be in the spotlight.  But as the program got started I realized that it was the second grade Chinese immersion class that was seated in front and gathered that they were going to do some kind of presentation. I cringed a bit more, wondering if I should really go and get him but I still didn't want to make a scene and regretted not getting him earlier. But as the program started he just looked around and tried to follow along as they sang and did motions. I was so proud of him, I could hardly stand it. I loved his enthusiasm. I loved his excitement. I loved his fearlessness in living his dream. He wanted to be a part of it and he was diving right in without any embarrassment, hesitation, or restraint.  He wasn't going to sit on the sidelines. He was going to be on the field doing his best even though he didn't know what he was doing. I envied it.  And I cheered it.
As they entered into talking about the holiday traditions I would see him periodically turn around and talk to the boys behind him.  At first I thought that he was just being a kid and being chatty but then he stood I knew from the look on his face that the gig was up.  As he walked towards me his brave mask shattered and he buried his face in my shirt and cried. His voice choked with embarrassment, dejection and disappointment as he told me that the boys had told him that he couldn't be up there.  My heart would have broken into a million pieces had it not been bursting with pride for this incredible, confident and brave boy.  He wanted to leave but I convinced him to halls and see if there was anything on the wall next to his kindergarten classroom.  That cheered him up a bit but as soon as I got anywhere near the gym he'd want to leave. I wanted to stay and at least listen to see if there was any information I needed to hear. They then announced that the second grade class would be doing a snake dance (they basically had the high school volunteers carry a short snake type thing around the room and the second grade class followed behind) it broke my heart that if Hyrum had been allowed to stay in the front that all of his dreams of involvement would have been realized.  They also announced that the following day they would have another Chinese New Years Celebration of sorts during school and would have another dragon/lion/snake/whatever dance around again...in the morning.  Hyrum has afternoon kindergarten.

I am going to have to make the Chinese New Year happen for Hyrum this year...and it's going to have to be EPIC!!